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Sword of Loli Outcast - Session 4
Dramatis Personae 0Coletell Auctor (MC): The MC. You. 1Mari Vanator: Half demon, half succubus, all loli. 0Gertrude Auctor: Your aunt. Can kick ass in heels. 1Gressil: Archdemoness of Temptation. Either she's tsundere for you, or doesn't find you worthy 1Carina Albia: Someone I'm gonna introduce as we go. Mari rests her head on your arm. "You've been working too hard recently, you know?" She dusts off your dirty and tattered jacket. 1"Gotta make money. Hunting is pretty tough, and the pay/difficulty ratio is pretty shit." 5"I do it for your sake." 3"..." She blushes, and moves her hands around yours. "Oh, really? COME ON NOW." A rather bitchy voice tears the atmosphere. 2"Shut it, Gressil." 0Smack the pistol holstered in your jacket 9"Need something?" "Yeah, how about you and your underaged lover over there stop making googly-eyes every thirty seconds?" You feel the pistol heat up. 0Pull her out, step on her. 6"Cool it, or I'm sealing you again." 4"..." "I'd like to..." She hops out of your jacket and transforms into her demon form. "...TRY." She summons several muskets and levels them at you. 1"Whoa, cool it." 9Seal her. You learned the short-hand spell, might as well try it. 1"Hey, look, I'm sorry." You brush aside the muskets, and press against the old and faded seal hidden on her chest. You think through the magical algorithim , and the seal engages itself. 0"Maybe next time, you'll behave yourself." 1"I don't like having to do this every time, but you don't learn." 9"Sorry, partner." She's unable to talk, after all. You place her sealed stone form, a glowing gem, in a large safe box in your fathers, now your own study. You need to pick a temporary weapon... 1Bother one of the Archdemons 7Pull something from the rack 1Use conventional arms You push aside one of the bookcases, leading to your family's own store of enchanted weapons. All kinds of weapons line the racks... 0Pick Arondight 2Pick Muramasa 2Pick Longinus 4Pick Gungnir 1Pick Perun's Axe 1Pick Carnwennan You lift the rather large, ornate spear from the rack. You hold it aloft, amazed at how light it feels in your hands. Now that we're armed... 7Go look for a job that requires your certain set of skills 1Go on a lone hunt 1Go out hunting with Mari 1Go out hunting with Ger You tell Mari and Ger you're headed out to find a job. Ger, still sleeping half naked, ignores you completely, and Mari kisses you on the cheek as you leave. 8Head to the cathedral. They usually have a demonic problem. 1Head into the city, the underground crime rings sometimes need help with normal humans. Making sure you don't look like a well dressed pile of shit, you leave your manor, ensuring Gungnir is well wrapped. Driving to the cathedral, you feel a bit of guilt for sealing Gressil. 4Enter the cathedral from the front entrance. 2Use the super secret back entrance! 3Call your priestly contact and sit in your own damn car. Not wanting to look inadequate, you sling Gungnir behind your back, and walk up the steps. With a great push, you throw the large doors open- to a scene of carnage. No civilians, but dead clergy everywhere. 9Investigate 2Call for backup You run in, and cast the cloth off Gungnir, and throw it around yourself, since it's magic resistant. Checking the bodies, you notice they were all slashed by a medium sized blade. 8Check the Rectory 1Check the storage areas 0Check all the small chapels You follow the trail of carnage into the rectory, and see a well-armored figure holding up your contact, Father Alsace, sputtering for mercy. You've not been noticed. 2"Hey, you in the armor, drop the old man." 4Attack, now! 3Wait it out. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? You lunge forward, Gungnir sparking with power. With a Shaft-like look, you're noticed by the armored foe, and they deflect your spear. Which isn't possible, unless... 0"You in the armor. Who are you, and what is your purpose asides from murdering the innocent?" 6Lunge again, but make sure not to be blocked. 3Attempt to secure Father Alsace You take a lunge, feint, and lunge again, to no avail. The armored foe is moving far too fast for its weight. Whatever it is, you're clearly outmatched in melee... if only you had a gun... 1Pull out your pistol. It's not Gressil, but it's got range. 0Cast a few spells. You're no good at magical combat, but it's worth a shot. 7Grab the priest and run. You feint a blow, and then use the split second your foe is blocking to pick up Fr. Alsace and make a run for it. He's unconscious and- what. The armored juggeernaut is fast on your heels, and catchin 6Attempt to block it 5That'll take too long, keep running! You swing out Gungnir to break a pillar- it falls in the juggernauts path. Looking back as you run, not only did it break through, THE DAMN THING ISN'T SLOWING DOWN. 1Face down the beast. 9Get to your car! There's no way it can run as fast as you can drive. You hop in the car and throw the priest in as well. You start up, and barely escape the charging monster. As you drive off... 1You call Ger for backup. Seriously, this is redeculous. 9YOU DRIVE FASTER You speed up, easily going over the speed limit. You make it to a safe looking clearing, and drive off. Alsace wakes, and begins muttering crazily. 8Slap him 1"Father, Father! Get a hold of yourself!" 0"..." The slap clears his mind. "Coletell, you're not safe now. That monster... it'll find you!" He shivers in fear. "It's hellbent on killing all those of the Catholic faith" 2"Why?" 7"Reverse-jihad?" 0"Explain further" He chuckles a bit. "Always light, yeah. You've been like that." He pulls out a piece of paper with an image of a sword on it. "This looks familiar?" It's the one the armor was holding... 2"Nope." 9"Some kinda of magical sword?" 1"What is it?" "Not just any old 'magical sword'. This here... it's THE sword. Sword of the Throne of Albion." He looks you in the eyes. 3"Nope." 7"Excalibur?" 3"Rings not a bell." He nods. Suddenly, you realize how fucked you are. How incredibly, super fucked you are. Especially because the armored monster has caught up to you. 1Run 1Run 7Run really quickly You run towards a wooded area, but to no avail. The juggernaut trucks right into you, knocking you and the priest airborne. And that, REALLY hurt. Plus, you're unarmed. 2Attempt to negotiate. 5Fire at it with your handgun 2Assume the fetal position You empty your one and only clip on the beast. Not only does it do nothing, the damn thing blocked the bullets with Excalibur. You're really, really dead. 0"Hey, look, I'm sure there's something I could give you to make you happy, yeah?" 5"What the fuck do you want with me? He's the priest." 7"..." You hear the roar of a motorcycle, followed by a painful crashing sound. Looking up, you see something in a labcoat flipping through the air like Casshern. 6Take cover. 4Make a run to retrieve Gungnir "Eh. I got worried when I saw Gressil all wrapped up like this." Gertrude tosses Gressil. "Go make up while I hold off this monster. Maybe we can get the sword, hm?" 3"Yes'm!" 1"You got it." 5"..." 0"But your bike!" Ger spins gracefully, scraping out a circle around her. Punching the ground, a similiar shaped circle appears around the juggernaut and traps it- for once, it's stuck. 1Make up with Gressil. 7Fuck her, she needs to learn how to behave. Fetch Gungnir. You take this chance to ready yourself. As the beast frees itself, you take a fullpowered, charged lunge. The attack pierces the armor, and the thing falls back. 5Unmask the damn thing. 3BURN IT. BURN IT TIL IT'S GONE Freeing Gungnir from the armor, and handing Exaclibur over to Ger, you move to take the mask off the armor. What you see is a... woman? About your age, maybe? 2Pull her out of the armor 6Paralyze and seal the armor, so she can't get out She comes to. Struggling, she flails inside the armor, but is locked inside. "Let me out, you Roman Catholic dog!" She spits at your face. 0"Whoa now, let's not be testy." 2"Says the mass murderer." 6"Woof woof. Why should I?" "Your corrupt piece of shit "church" has made a mockery of MY religion. It's time we did something about it, even if it's me against your entire congregation!" 1"Now, you're the one with blood on your hands. Not such a good Christian." 5"Look, I'm not religious." 0"Yadda yadda. How'd you get your hands on such a weapon?" You can feel her rage cool a bit, but she's still all worked up. "Where's my sword? You dishonorable piece of shit, give me back my sword!" You can tell she's trying to wiggle free. 0"Why should I?" 0"Yeah, I'll give the monster who tried to kill me her weapon." 9"Two can play the cursing game, you worthless cunt. Try to get it yourself, or are you just a lazy cockwhore?" She strains for a bit, but gives up. She stares at you. "Well kill me, then! It's what you murderous dogs do, yes?" She's clearly got a personal vendetta. 0"What's your problem with the RCC?" 6"Why're your panties in a bunch?" 0"Cool off and I'll THINK about it." "I..." She looks down to her right. "I.. I don't have to tell you!" She spits at you again. "Just kill her, Cole." Ger hands you Excalibur. She stands, hands on hips. 4Do it. 3"Wait, let's just wait a minute." Hell, she did kill like... 20 people. You hold the Exacalibur. Turning it to her neck, you drive it down... and it does nothing, much to everyone's surprise. 0"What, are you made of fucking admantium?" 1Try again 6"I think your sword's broken." Ger steps over and pushes you aside. She sits straddling the woman's breastplate. "There's something you're not telling us, miss. Cole, do you know why she can't be hurt by this sword?" 1"She's got cheats on?" 6"The sword is made of foil." 0"I can't hit shit?" She sighs, picks up the Excalibur, and pokes you in the leg. Yeah, it works just fine. "Miss, what did you say your name was?" The woman spits at Ger's face. 6"Do that again and I'll kill you with MY weapon." 2"Answer her question or I'll shit on your face while I stab you." 0"..." She relents. "C... Carina. I don't have a last name, so don't ask." Ger curiously looks at her. "Orphan, I assume? Taken in by the Anglican church, yes?" Carina's eyes widen. 3"Ger, are you a wizard?" 1"Explain." 1"..." "Sorceress is the proper term, kiddo. Carina here is: 1. An orphan. 2. Immune to the Excalibur. 3. Of English descent, I assume?" Carina nods. 5"So... what, is she special?" 2"You lost me." Ger smacks her fist into her open palm. "That's it! She's the last remains of the true English royal family!" Both you and Carina both look at Ger like she's stupid. 5"That was the most retarded thing you've ever said." 0"I don't believe you." 2"Yeah, and I'm the Queen of France." Ger crosses her arms. "Look. 20 or so years ago, the TRUE royal bloodline disappeared. Something something, rumor of a daughter." She motions to Carina. "She looks about right!" 2"...That's still stupid." 5"Sure, I guess, but we need something definitive, yeah?" 0"...I STILL don't believe you." "Here, check this out." She pulls out her tablet and checks something. "Hmm... hmm. Yeah. Here. Carina, say: 'As your master, I will you to my hand'. To Excalibur. Quick." 0"look, that isn't going to work." 8"If this works, I'm a faggot." Carina does as she's told... and the Excalibur hops towards her, its grip where her hand should be. Carina smirks at you. "Guess you're a faggot, huh?" 4"Don't get cocky, your highness." 3"All the more reason to kill you. I hate the english." "So, what are we going to do with her? She is a mass murderer at this point, yeah? Kill her? Turn her over to the RCC? Rape he- Just kidding." 7"We'll keep her in our custody." 0Hand her over to the Church 0Hand her over to authorities Ger nods, and knocks Carina out with a swift blow to the face. She removes her from her armor, and secures Excalibur. 0"Regarding the mess at the Cathedral, Cole, I called a few people. Consider it dealt with." 0When you return home, Mari is waiting impatiently. She sees your state and berates you. 0"You should have taken me with you! Look at you, you're all banged up!" 0She hugs you tightly- and notices Ger has Carina slung over her shoulder. 0"What is that horrid thing? Get rid of it! Nownownownownow!" 0"This is technically the Queen of England, but for now she's our little prisoner." 0Mari cocks her head sideways, then nods. Ger places Carina on the guest bed, and secures her. 0Instead of placing Excalibur on the rack, or securing it, you leave it in the guest room. 0If she wants it, she can take it back. You're an orphan too, after all. 0Sword of the Outcast / Session I don't even know / END